This year I managed to spend nil, but altogether, we Americans spend north of $600 million on fireworks every year. This equates to $2 for every man, woman, and child in the USA.
Almost all of our fireworks are imported directly from China (Police Republic of China), marked up by wholesalers, and sold retail to eager Americans celebrating the inalienable right to the pursuit of Star-Spangled happiness - and to blow stuff up every 4th of July and New Years.
Cheap labor keeps the manufacturing jobs in the PRC (Police Republic of China), while also keeping the international shipping magnates happy, and creating thousands of temporary roadside retail jobs in the USA. At minimum wage. :/
So China profits and sleeps well. International shipping magnates profit and sleep well. USA wholesalers profit. Everybody else? Well...not so much.
Question: What if we put our American ingenuity to work to create more manufacturing jobs here? What if we could employ disabled Americans, and other unemployed workers, to manufacture fireworks here?
Who wouldn't you pay a few bucks MORE to blow up stuff with MADE IN THE USA written on the side! I know I would!
Peace. Aho. Ahorsewithnoname.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
How to take your daughter to the airport (for international flights)
First off, man up and avoid this task at all costs. If the final destination is Africa, I would strongly suggest you schedule some kind of unbreakable appointment.
If you golf, go golfing.
If you fish, go fishing.
1) Starting now, raise the corners of your mouth into a gentle smile and keep your lips sealed as much as possible.
2) Breathe in and out through the nostrils - all the way in and all the way out - whilst maintaining # 1.
3) Pray.
4) Offer no advice, unless asked.
5) Hand her some money. Offer no advice. (Unless asked, which will not happen.)
6) Passports and visa stamps are on the planet of Nunya. (Nunya bidness. Not to be mentioned!).
7) Do offer to help weigh her baggage; however, offer no advice on which books to toss out.
8) No matter what happens, remember this fact: you may never, ever be able to look directly into those big green eyes again.
9) Repeat # 3
10) Smile and tell her she is kind. She is smart. She is important.
Peace
If you golf, go golfing.
If you fish, go fishing.
I strongly suggest you find anything to do that day, except to say: "Yes, of course, I will take you to the airport Baby Girl. What time is your flight?"
Just say No.
If you are anything like me, you will find yourself entirely incapable of letting others learn HOW TO through their own toe-stubbing, trial and error.
(In fact this blog entirely confirms that fact right there.) Anyway, if you simply cannot refuse, then here are some tips:
(In fact this blog entirely confirms that fact right there.) Anyway, if you simply cannot refuse, then here are some tips:
1) Starting now, raise the corners of your mouth into a gentle smile and keep your lips sealed as much as possible.
2) Breathe in and out through the nostrils - all the way in and all the way out - whilst maintaining # 1.
3) Pray.
4) Offer no advice, unless asked.
5) Hand her some money. Offer no advice. (Unless asked, which will not happen.)
6) Passports and visa stamps are on the planet of Nunya. (Nunya bidness. Not to be mentioned!).
7) Do offer to help weigh her baggage; however, offer no advice on which books to toss out.
8) No matter what happens, remember this fact: you may never, ever be able to look directly into those big green eyes again.
9) Repeat # 3
10) Smile and tell her she is kind. She is smart. She is important.
Peace
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Christmas Time is here and mahatma ghandi
Can there possibly bea better Christmas
present
than to get all three
bambinos
back under one reindeer-hoof trodden roof?
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